Freitag, 26. August 2011

...hmh

I dream of love, sweet love.
About someone who will make my happy,
who will make me laughing,
about someone who will be with me whatever will be or is.
That's what I dream of.
I'm only afraid of loosing someone,
because this person might be really important for me.

Nightmare ?

When I was little kid, I was afraid of my life, it was scary for me,
because my life is like a big nightmare, but now I'm not afraid anymore,
It's not scary for me, but sad...

Video World...

Life is like a video, world like a stage, peoples like an actors and God is the director.
They are playing his rules, nothing is real, none emotion is real.
All sad and happy days are directed by God and played by actors.
We are living in a Video World, where nothing is real.

Love is the Greatest

To love is to have someone special.
One who you can always depend,
To be there through the years
as a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
Of moments you love to recall
Of all the good things
That sharing life bring
Love is the greatest of all.


Mittwoch, 24. August 2011

TO MY FRIENDS!!!

You guys are really great. I want to say that you are always really nice to me. I'm really glad that i have friends like you. You guys are really great. I mean you are crazy, nice, friendly, lovely and awesome. I love you !!!
I can make crazy things with you, we have always fun, we can talk about all shit, and I know that I can trust you guys. You are really important to me. I will always help you no matter what will be or is. Love you guys!!!








Something from me...(I was bored)

I don't really know what should I do in my life. Sometimes we have to do something that we don't want to.

SOMETHING LIKE A SONG OR I DON'T KNOW, I WRITE IT A HALF YEAR AGO.

I can't live without you, I want to hear your breathing when you are sleeping. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. In my dream I was with you, and I was really, really happy, cause I truly love you, we was really in love, but in the reality we are not together, it is one sided love. You are a good looking man. Sometimes i have to say that I need to stop love you cause it's meaningless...HEY!!, one sided love??. For me this is a big pain in my heart, loving someone who doesn't love me. For me you are a hero, and you will be forever, think about it. You are really important to me, and it isn't a lie. I miss my dreams when you where with me and we where making love. I love your long blond hair, blue eyes, small lips and your voice. You are like a drug for me. Your hair, eyes, lips, voice, body (back) and your hands, those all, I wanna make them mine, I want them to belong to me. Love is like a drug,when you love someone, then from day to day you want more, more and more. It can be always like this, but...

Life...

Our Life is full of bad and good days. We can't do anything to fix bad days or make good days better, we only have to wait for the next day.

I don't know...

Life is like a dream which I want someone to wake me up.

Dienstag, 23. August 2011

Mein Leben in Deutschland/ My Life in Germany

June 2008, Date when I moved to Germany. From next week after moving, I went to a German school. It was hard  for me, cause i could not speak German, no one word in German. After 2 years i was able to speak, not perfect but somehow. In this 2 years I talked only with my brother, mother and her boyfriend. In school no one else  talked to me cause it was meaningless, anyway i can't understand them that's why. My mom and her boyfriend they argued all the time, always about the money. they split 2 times. Now after 4 days they split. Always is all about the money. I have no strength anymore, I'm mentally finished. I don't know what should i do. My life was always like this. My mom betrayed all the time her boyfriend. And the greatest thing what was in my life was that, hat I was for all the mental help. All this shit was on my head. All problems what we have I need to repair, only I have to speak with each of them. When i have a problem then i repair it alone without help, I don't need help from anyone, cause I'm strong and i can repair this all shit alone without help......
 My Life is a big shit..but it is my shit.!!!

Montag, 22. August 2011

Mein Leben

When i was 5 years old my mother left my home, i can say that it was my father who said that she have to leave our home. It wasn't easy for me, I cried so much, :( :( . I lived in dysfunctional family, it was 10 years, i lived 10 years in this shit, my father is an alcoholic. He was an violent man. I hated my life, I hate it still. When he was under the influence of alcohol he was aggressive. He have a girlfriend, I always saw how he beat her it was horrible. _They quarreled all the time, i can't sleep cause of this, it was really loud. We couldn't do anything in the house. We only could sleep and go to school nothing else. We couldn't eat, take a shower, i can say only that that all what was in our home was not for us (me and my brother).  It was terrible. My life is a big SHIT i hate it.
First 2 years after she left our house, we could meet her in work. After 2 or 1 year our father said that we can't see our mother anymore, When we will saw her and he would know that, the he will beat us. It was like this all the time after 8 years my mother moved to Germany with a new boyfriend, the contact between us was broken. After 2 years she come back to Poland and said that he want moved with us to Germany: I said yes i want move from my father but deep in my heart wasn't yes but no cause she left to Germany 2 years without any contact, nothing no one word from she, I was really sad. Then this whole judgment with my father, it was really horrible. In June 2008 we moved to Germany. I was sad because I have to leave all my friend. Now 3 years are gone, I learn German, I'm done with my old school now i will make FSJ (1 year work). I became much friend and have a boyfriend. But that what was, my past  I  can't forget it, but i really want to forget it. It is really hard to forget it, maybe someday.. :)


Sonntag, 21. August 2011

Introduction/ Einführung

Hey, I'm Sandra I'm still 17 but on 31 October I will be 18, an Adult. I know that my Life isn't so interesting but it isn't so easy for me, that's why I want to recount my life to you guys, I want to describe my life, my bad, sad days and when I was lucky, I want to share my life with you guys. I'm an Emotional person and love photography, so all pictures in/on this blog will be mine, and done by me...I have young sister she's name is Victoria and an older brother hes name is Sebasstian. my sister is 5 years old and my brother 20 years old. Now i live with mine brother, sister and mother. Why not with my Father i will write it in next post cause this is only introduction. So i already live first 3 years in Germany, Erfurt and learn German. Guys I'm a bit sleepy, I have to go sleep now. I will Continue it tomorrow, ooh not tomorrow but TODAY :P...