ahhhh

i have to fight, i will not give up from my life. i will do nothing stupid with my life. i cant give up.  need to think positiv, i do nothing, but i want that my life ends. i  dont want to live, i have no more power, i cant , but i have to fight without strenght. I have to fight. it doesnt metter what i want, it doesnt metter if i die or i will live, cause no one love me, no one. i was always alone and i, still alone i really want to end my life.

Ahhhhh

we have now 31.3.2012 and im alone. i broke up with my boyfriend. I still really love him but it cant be like this anymore, its hurt so much. i cried  so much, he said to me that he love and that he will be always for me when i need him or i have a problem, he will be always for me there. Why my life is like a big war where never end. i have always to fight but its hurt. i cant alwas fight it  hurt so much. i cant do this anmore.... no place to go,   ,,  let me go  it hur so much i have to go without brokenheart,.... :(

...

shiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Ich und mein Arbeit

Ich arbeite in Pflegeheim, eigentlich mache ich mein FSJ praktikum dort. Ich muss sagen das es ist nicht so schlimm manchmal macht spaß, naja aber nicht immer. Ich arbeite von 5.45 - 14.45, also 9 stunden. Ich muss jeden Tag um 4.00 austehen weil 5.10 muss ich raus gehen zum haltestelle, naja egal.

...hmh

I dream of love, sweet love.
About someone who will make my happy,
who will make me laughing,
about someone who will be with me whatever will be or is.
That's what I dream of.
I'm only afraid of loosing someone,
because this person might be really important for me.

Nightmare ?

When I was little kid, I was afraid of my life, it was scary for me,
because my life is like a big nightmare, but now I'm not afraid anymore,
It's not scary for me, but sad...

Video World...

Life is like a video, world like a stage, peoples like an actors and God is the director.
They are playing his rules, nothing is real, none emotion is real.
All sad and happy days are directed by God and played by actors.
We are living in a Video World, where nothing is real.